My Life...

Thinking back on my life...I came from chaotic time and place.  My parents were definetely not the norm... I was born into a family that included step siblings...keep in mind this was back in the 60's...So..I think that there was much underlying problems... I adored my big brothers... Then when I was age 3 and my brother was 5 he died from cancer...can you imagine?  I can't imagine that ever happening..then at age 9 my beloved grandmother died...then at age 15 my dad died...So much strife...

So when I reflect back on my life I have many mixed emotions.  I was never alone...there were ultimately 5 kids in a 2 bedroom home... I struggled with the "friend" thing...never went on a date until college...I was active in my school but had to rely on the after school bus...and later I was always afraid of leaving my siblings... they were my glue...

I knew at a young age that I was going to be a teacher and I knew that I would teach kids that were "strangely" different... when I discovered these possibilities the only titles they had were mentally retarded..

Because I had older brothers that went to college I knew that I would do the same.  But it was a hard road...you see..the important at the time people to me were detached..one had died and other one was depressed.. I was also the older sister..with 4 younger siblings that needed an anchor.  My choice to go to college was an easy one...but getting there was hard...

Everyone was happy that I was going but no one cheered me on... Being there was hard at first but then I gained my independence and Life was Finally Good... I got to reinvent who I was... and I loved it...

My college life was wonderful...I made friends ...I had goals...and the possibilities were endless...I dated...I fell in and out of love... I partied hardy... and I saved my life..

When that was over...I went back home and sort of fell back into a hopeless track...sad and heartbroken missing my friends...missing my life...

I quickly learned that I needed to suck it up or life would beat me down...

I married, I became a teacher, I had my girls, my life was good...I love helping people...I have faith... I have my friends...

About two years ago I hit midlife quite hard..thus the beginnings of this blog (my second blog)...and I sort of crashed and burned for awhile... I am slowly digging myself out... I am realizing I have lots of living to do...

My goals have changed... I am searching for some solitude amongst those that I love... I am striving for a deeper relationship with God...I want to become one with nature and I want to save the Indigenous people of this country of ours...How all this plays out is a mystery to me...but

Here I am...ready...set...go....

(this post is being linked to Kick In the Blog...)