Faith on Friday...

I need to deviate from this title today... things have been happening around here that have been amazing...So here goes...

First off...I started with my personal trainer...and really focusing on nutrition...which is a work in progress...well actually both are a work in progress...BUT I am so motivated and feel so much better.  My knee...which led me to knowing that I need to do something with my physical health...feels so much better! 

Second off... my daughter went to the MN Teacher Edcaution Fair on Monday...all things considered she went in with an open mind.  She wanted to hand out as many resumes as possible and hopefully get some interviews...but the lines were all so long...So she noticed that the Arizona school line was  not as long as the others...so she stopped by and started talking...which led to an interview...whick led to ......a JOB....which led to her being UBER excited which led to absolute JOY...She has a job now down in Arizona...she will be moving in June...I am super excited for her...and am going to miss her like crazy!

So how is that for goodness?   

 Jesus looked hard at them and said, "No chance at all if you think you can pull it off yourself. Every chance in the world if you trust God to do it." Mathew 19:26

I think in both of these cases God led...

May is coming up and I couldn't be more excited...you see it is BIRTHDAY week...

May 1 is daughter number one...
May 2 is daughter number two
May 3 is mine
May 4 is my sister...

Then we have dance recitals and Mothers Day...and Memorial Day... I love me some May!

Midlife Monday

When reflecting about the aging process the only thing I can draw on is the aging of my mother.  I would have to say that from age 50 to 60 she aged quite graciously.  After that not so much.  She had a falling accident and then a knee replacement that she never recovered from... Her memory also has started to slip.  Another issue is she doesn't do much outside of the home...These are all issues that weigh on my mind...

So my question to you...

What positives do you remember abuot your mother's aging?

What negatives do you remember about your mother's aging?

If you didn't get to see your mom age, who is your role model for aging? 

If you comment I will read and respond...

Saturday Stretch...

On Saturdays my plan is to talk about excersise.. or better yet..healthy lifestyle...

I will be upfront and say that my lifestyle is not very healthy.  I will back up and say that I choose not to drink alcohol (my choice).. I mean I do have the once in a while drink or glass of wine...but I don't go out to just drinks.  And I don't smoke...never have and never will.  So in general I think I am pretty healthy...

Now lets talk about all those other things...eating and moving the body..I am an emotional eater.  I eat because it makes me forget about anything that makes me upset or depressed... I eat because it just plain tastes good... The thing is... I do like to excersise.  I love to walk, to jog, ride a bike..etc..but I seem to not want to or I choose to other sedentary things...

I know as I get older I will start having issues.  Heck it has already started.  My knee is messed up.  It is getting better with therapy, but I never use to have issues like this.  This alone has really slowed me down. 

I have come to the conclusion that if I want to live a more stress free life I have to take charge of my life.  I need to make better choices... I need to value myself...I have nightmares of growing old and frail and being a burden. 

So...starting now...I am going to...

1.  I now have a personal trainer. 
2.  I am now committed to going to the doctor for yearly physicals
3.  I have been searching out low fat/low sodium meals
4. When I find that life is getting out of hand that I will work it out by working out

I am committed to loving myself inside and out...  What do you do to be healthy(ier) ? 

Faith on Friday

I read this quote on Twitter yesterday:

I can't assure you that your family will ever give you the blessing you seek, but I know God will! -Max Lucado

I thought that this was very fitting for where I am at in my life.  We all work so hard during our first half of life...seeking pleasure and blessings from our family in friends...but it never seems to be enough...there is seems to be that wanting for a bit more..at least it was this way for me...

Most of my life I have gone to church, but was never really involved in church... I did have an interesting experience when I road the green bus to church..to Park Grove Alliance church...but other than that...pretty much just church..

But I have always felt the nudge as I like to call it...I was always a pray-er....but seemingly needing things...

I want to grow closer to my God and my faith... and I have been...I do "talk" with God on a daily basis...just bearing my soul...complaining sometimes...thanking sometimes...just chatting!

What is your faith about?  Do you feel the pull as you get older?

Good Question: The Next Decade?

A friend asked on my previous post if I know what I want the next decade to be like or look like...

I have spent some time thinking about this and have started formulating a picture and ideals..  I feel like I have a lot of life to live...lots more to say...and maybe even prove.

As I spoke about in my last post..life has been sort of hard to walk thru for me...I still struggle putting it into words but I know it is real...So I still find myself being hesitant.  I find myself thinking I will do it tomorrow...

So here I sit... today I made a big move (saving this for another post) and I feel a sense of excitement.  I have come to realize that tomorrow is today..

Solitude

My dad was a quiet peaceful man. He had this shed in our backyard.  Most evenings and weekends you could be found out in the shed just putzing...I feel I have inherited that gene.  I do love spending time with my family ...but I also crave the solitude.  I love spending time just hanging out alone..quiet..cleaning...reading..napping...walking...

One thing this next part is going to have is purposeful solitude...

Faith

Again I am drawing on characteristics of my dad... He had a strong desire to be faithful.  This faith falter along the way...which I noticed but never got a chance to ask about...and perhaps this faith stuff has a lot to do with solitude..but I know that for me to feel complete I need to pray and be a good listener

Health

My health/self esteem/well being is greatly tied into how I feel when I look into the mirror.  I know that it is a lot of hardwork..but if I want to be "there" for my family I need to build into the next decade a sense of being a good steward of my body.

I have other things I want to accomplish...to do...to seek out...and they will become clearer as I go...but for now.. Solitude/Health/Faith are the top three...What is your next decade going to be about? 

My Life...

Thinking back on my life...I came from chaotic time and place.  My parents were definetely not the norm... I was born into a family that included step siblings...keep in mind this was back in the 60's...So..I think that there was much underlying problems... I adored my big brothers... Then when I was age 3 and my brother was 5 he died from cancer...can you imagine?  I can't imagine that ever happening..then at age 9 my beloved grandmother died...then at age 15 my dad died...So much strife...

So when I reflect back on my life I have many mixed emotions.  I was never alone...there were ultimately 5 kids in a 2 bedroom home... I struggled with the "friend" thing...never went on a date until college...I was active in my school but had to rely on the after school bus...and later I was always afraid of leaving my siblings... they were my glue...

I knew at a young age that I was going to be a teacher and I knew that I would teach kids that were "strangely" different... when I discovered these possibilities the only titles they had were mentally retarded..

Because I had older brothers that went to college I knew that I would do the same.  But it was a hard road...you see..the important at the time people to me were detached..one had died and other one was depressed.. I was also the older sister..with 4 younger siblings that needed an anchor.  My choice to go to college was an easy one...but getting there was hard...

Everyone was happy that I was going but no one cheered me on... Being there was hard at first but then I gained my independence and Life was Finally Good... I got to reinvent who I was... and I loved it...

My college life was wonderful...I made friends ...I had goals...and the possibilities were endless...I dated...I fell in and out of love... I partied hardy... and I saved my life..

When that was over...I went back home and sort of fell back into a hopeless track...sad and heartbroken missing my friends...missing my life...

I quickly learned that I needed to suck it up or life would beat me down...

I married, I became a teacher, I had my girls, my life was good...I love helping people...I have faith... I have my friends...

About two years ago I hit midlife quite hard..thus the beginnings of this blog (my second blog)...and I sort of crashed and burned for awhile... I am slowly digging myself out... I am realizing I have lots of living to do...

My goals have changed... I am searching for some solitude amongst those that I love... I am striving for a deeper relationship with God...I want to become one with nature and I want to save the Indigenous people of this country of ours...How all this plays out is a mystery to me...but

Here I am...ready...set...go....

(this post is being linked to Kick In the Blog...) 

Individualism

I have been reading this interesting book Awakening at Midlife by Kathleen Brehony.  It talks about and guides you through topics such as reviving your spirit, recreating your life and finding your truest self.  I am in the part of all theorist so have gotten bogged down by Carl Jung stuff but I did find this interesting concepts and quotes

establishing a sense of personal identity, developing a career, marrying/significant relationship, raising a family, contributing to society and leaving your family of origin all depend on your ego identity and a clear sense of I...

At midlife... the challenge changes...the process changes..

My question is what changes?  How do we go about seeking our individualism?  Are you afraid of the changes?

uncovering the real us?  

This is my attempts at scrapping and stripping the paint off of our bathroom wood work.. what was I ever thinking when I painted...I love the wood underneath...symbolic of my life?